Finding my way

photograph by Pia Jane Bijkerk

Last year has been a year of finding my way.

I started this blog a year ago when I stopped working at Mies&Moos.

Finding what I truly want to do turned out to be not as easy as I thought,

daily life took over many times.

I let it take over because of insecurities and fear.

What if ...... I asked myself many times.

I also felt quilty for having the time to persue my dreams

and not making any money.

The constant doubts didn`t help.

But lately things seem to fall in place.

Thanks to Life is messy bootcamp I`m in control of my time

and things get done.

Ideas turn into plans and actions.

I hope to show you soon what I`m creating

and going to sell.

For my birthday I got the book my heart wanders from Pia Jane Bijkerk.

I find it very beatiful and inspirational.

The text below is from the book and struck a chord.

These are thoughts that ran through my mind lately

and reading them written by somebody else

was a beautiful experience.

photograph by Pia Jane Bijkerk

Wearing my heart on my sleeve has been the bane of my existence. Being 'too' honest,

                 open, raw, caring, sensitive and intense. I have finally realised that what I was led to

                 believe were my character flaws are actually my strengths. These are what encourage 

                 and ignite my creativity. Without these characteristics, I feel nothing.

                 Perhaps I am just a girl with illusions of grandeur.

                 Perhaps.

                 Perhaps my head is filled with ideas that I can't actually produce.

                 Perhaps.

                 Yet I know deep down that among these grandiose ideas are ideas that I can produce.

                 And I will produce: there is no perhaps about that.

                 So, I have set out to embrace these dear mannerisms of mine. To nurture them and

                 honour them for the first time in my life instead of punishing myself over them.

                 create. be.